Small ideas, services, and approaches that helped us make daily life calmer, safer, and more manageable.
Family carers often say they wish someone had shown them the simple, practical things that make everyday life easier — not clinical advice, but the small adjustments and support services that reduce stress, prevent crises, and help both partners feel more secure.
The tools on this page are not instructions or professional guidance. They are things that helped us, shared gently in case they help you too.
They come from lived experience, trial and error, and the quiet problem‑solving that every family carer learns to do. Every person with dementia is different, and every family finds its own way — so please take only what feels useful and leave the rest.
If you find other practical tools that helped you, why not share these ideas with us through the “Contact us” link att the foot of each page?
Three tools that helped us, how and why
🎥 Newcastle University’s CAIT Model — understanding behaviour
What it is: A series of short, practical videos showing how to understand and respond to behaviours that look “challenging” but are actually expressions of unmet need. Where to start: Begin with the first CAIT video on YouTube — once you watch one, the others appear automatically in the suggested list. Why it helped: CAIT showed me the difference between the “common response” (the one I often used, and regretted) and the “better way”. It helped me see Lynn’s behaviour as communication, not confrontation, and it changed the tone of our days.
🎓 UCLA Dementia Caregiver Training — changing how you respond
What it is: A set of training videos and written guides from UCLA’s gerontology team, covering communication, behaviour, safety, and emotional connection. Where to start: UCLA’s website lists all the videos in a clear sequence, so you can choose the ones that match what you’re facing today. Why it helped: The “before and after” examples were transformative. They showed how small changes in tone, pace, and body language could turn a difficult moment into a calmer one. The health system is American, but the human principles are universal.
🎓 Alzheimer’s UK carer information and support programme
The Carer Information and Support Programme (CrISP) from Alzheimer’s UK provides support and up-to-date, relevant information in a group environment, where carers can share experiences and find out about local and national services that can offer support. It is free, but not available everywhere at the moment. Check at the foot of the page putting your postcode into their search facility, which will also bring up other services in your area like “Singing for the brain”.
The programme is run in a series of sessions which offers carers the opportunity to share experiences in a confidential and friendly environment with others in a similar situation.
Trained staff and volunteers run the sessions to ensure carers get the most out of the programme and can provide further information and support.
💧 Continence Support — early guidance and specialist help
What it is: Early continence advice from TENA, plus specialist NHS Bladder & Bowel Services that offer assessment, guidance, and products. Where to start: TENA’s advice pages are a gentle introduction. When you’re ready, your GP can refer you to your local NHS continence service. Why it helped: TENA gave me early clarity, but the Worcestershire Bladder and Bowel Service was exceptional — kind, knowledgeable, and generous with time and equipment. Continence issues can feel overwhelming and embarrassing; good support makes an enormous difference.
(You can search “NHS Bladder and Bowel Services + “County where you live” for your local services, in the UK these are usually free)
These tools helped me understand Lynn’s needs more clearly and respond with more confidence and compassion. They also showed me something I now believe deeply: family carers are rarely taught the practical skills that make daily life calmer and safer. Educating the unexpected family carer is the fastest, lowest‑cost, most humane way to improve dementia care — and sharing these tools is one small part of that aim.